October musings

October (Trust)

Beginning

Reluctant and unsure

What do I commit to?

Get my hands in the dirt

Let the land change me

Sickness and healing

Come close

Please go

Binging to forget

Won’t let death to do it’s work

Shaking myself alive

Only to numb

Back

to familiar

Dissociation

Authenticity now

Free and tethered

Postponed forgiveness

Let’s things work out in their own time

From decomposition and decay

Shoots of growth

Who do I want to be?

Call her out of the oceanic unknown

She’s smiling down on me

I just have to make space

Let the old fall from my gnarled grip

And trust